Says who?

Brother, You cant grow a beard
You’ll be mocked at and jeered
You’ll be looked at as weird
You’ll be avoided and feared

Says who?

Sister, you cant wear that veil
You’ll look like a whale
Subjugated to the male
In society you will fail

Says who?

Brother, go and talk to her
She has so much to offer
How else will you find a partner?
Quick! Get her number!

Says who?

Sister, keep your gaze high
No need to be shy
You gotta find the perfect guy
With whom your heart will lie

Says who?

Brother, You don’t have to pray
The Masjid is too far away
It’s for the old guys anyway
You’ll get there one day

Says who?

Sister, ignore the azaan
Your favourite program is on
So many prayers have already gone
Just forget it and carry on

Says who?

To enter hell he will be the first
Of creation he is the worst
To lead man astray is his thirst
He is shaitaan the cursed

That’s who.

Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

When I got home that night as my wife Ameena served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. Ameena didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, Ismail why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, “you are not a man!”

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. Ameena was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Mary Anne. I didn’t love Ameena anymore. I just pitied her!

 With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Mary Anne so dearly.

 Finally Ameena cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

 The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Mary Anne. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did’nt care so I turned over and was asleep again.

 In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son Ahmed had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

 This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

 Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Mary Anne about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. Ameena and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son Ahmed clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don’t tell Ahmed about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

 On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to Ameena.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Mary Anne about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son Ahmed came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. Ameena gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Ahmed had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Mary Anne opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Mary Anne, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Mary Anne, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world.

Mary Anne seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I will carry you out every morning until one of us leaves this world!

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build a relationship.

Allah says in the Qur’an:“Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.”(Qur’an 4:34)

Allah says in the Qur’an:“And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise.” (Qur’an 9:71)

Prophet[p.b.u.h] said, “The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family”

You think it’s not my choice
in your own “liberation” rejoice.
You think I’m uneducated,
trapped, oppressed and subjugated,
You’re so thankful that you’re free.

But non-Muslim woman you’ve got it wrong
You’re the weak and I’m the strong.
For I’ve rejected the trap of man.
Fancy clothes – low neck, short skirt
those are devices for pain and hurt.
I’m not falling for that little plan.

I’m a person with ideas and thought.
I’m not for sale, I can’t be bought.
I’m me – not a fancy toy,
I won’t decorate anyone’s arm,
nor be promoted for my charm.
There is more to be than playing coy.

Living life as a balancing game – mother,
daughter, wife, nurse, cleaner, cook, lover
and still bring home a wage.
Who thought up this modern “freedom”?
Where man can love’em and man can leave’em.
This is not free, but life in a cage.
Always jumping to a male agenda
competing on his terms.
No job share, no creche facilities,
no feeding and nappy changing amenities
No time off for menstrual pain,
“hormones” they laugh “what a shame”
No equal pay equal skill
your job they can always fill.
No promotion unless you’re sterilised.
No promotion unless you’re sexually terrorised.
And this is liberation?

Non-Muslim woman you can have your life.
Mine – it has less strife.
I cover and I get respected,
surely that’s to be expected,
for I won’t demean the feminine,
I won’t live to male criterion,
I dance to my own tune
and I hope you see this very soon.
For your own sake – wake up and use your sight.
Are you so sure that you are right?

From a Muslim Woman

Muhammad was the greatest personality anyone has ever seen

The most honest, just and loving human being

He had the most beautiful, bright shiny smile

And the most highest ranking profile

No one could beat him in eloquence

Yet the mushrikeen said he was a bad influence

Everything he did was not for fame

But it was to help save us from the eternal flame

His humour was also great

Like when he told the old lady she won’t enter through Jannahs gate

In Jaahiliyyah they would all in him place their trust

But when he came with the truth, they threw on him dust

His habeebatain were Aa’isha and Abu Bakr

Amoung his sahaabahs expedition was there Al-Ambar

He had given Khalid bin al-Waleed the title of Sayfullah

And his beloved uncle Hamzah was known as Asadullah

At Taa’if he had to endure such pain

But he made dua to Allah that through its progeny the Ummah should gain

At the Battle of Mu’tah was his cousin Ja’far slain

This too caused him a lot of pain

His sword was the Zulfiqaar

And he told us to seek forgiveness from Allah al-Ghaffaar

He prayed sincerely night and day

Just so that humanity may come on to the right way

In the Quraan he is known as an-Natheer

This was amoung the titles given to him by As-Samee’ul Baseer

His last illness proved to be severe

He knew he would not make it another year

While on his deathbed his cry was ‘Ummati Ummati’

Knowing all the while that he was sinless, still he prayed to his Rabb, ‘Ighfirlee’ (forgive me)

Allahumma Salli wa Sallim ala Nabiyyil Ummi

Khairun Naasi min Arabiyyin wa Ajami

It could have been the splash of red or the overabundance of hearts or the young man in a designer jeans that caught his eye, but Sheikh Hamaad stopped under the bold “Valentine’s day Specials” banner, set his shopping basket on the floor and watched the young man battling to select an appropriate gift from the heaps of hearts, teddy bears and chocolates. Like a busy humming bird he flitted from shelf to shelf struggling to choose.

Sheikh Hamaad approached him as he stood scratching his head, “Asalaamu Alaikum, young man, seems like you’re battling to make a choice.”

“Eish, Moulana, this is more difficult than I thought. And lucky I only have to choose for two of them,” he said, picking up another heart decorated teddy bear, examining the price and putting down with disappointment.

“For your sisters?” Sheikh asked, feigning innocence.

“Naah, just friends, you know how it is. You have to do these things” came the prompt reply.

Sheikh Hamaad remained silent and fixed his gentle gaze on the young man, something more than the loud Billabong T-shirt and hipster jeans told him that this young man had more than a spark of intelligence.

“Tell me, how many Valentine’s gifts do your sisters receive?”

“Hey, hey…. Moulana my sisters are not like that. They don’t do this boyfriend thing. My sisters…they are pure,” exclaimed the young man an angry frown crossing his face. “Just let the guy try and send my sisters one flower and I’ll make him eat it. You don’t know me!”

“Oh,” said Sheikh Hamaad without any apology, “And your mother, how many Valentine’s gifts does she get?”

The young man took a step back and glared at Sheikh Hamaad, “La howla wa….” his words swallowed by his anger, “how can you even say such things about my mother? My mother, she doesn’t do this stuff. She is like an angel. She is pure. How can you say this?”

Sheikh paused, waiting for the silence to absorb the boy’s anger, then said, tauntingly, “So they don’t receive any Valentine’s gifts or have boyfriend’s at all.”

“I told you, Moulana, my family is pure and they don’t do this junk stuff.”

Knowing the moment was right Sheikh but forward his reasoning, “So you really don’t like your sisters receiving these gifts or having boyfriends.”

“No ways,” came the emphatic reply, “not on my life”

“Then don’t you think,” Sheikh ventured, “that other people would also not like their sisters, mothers or aunts to receive such gifts. Just as you would like your sisters to remain pure, they would also like their sisters to be pure?”

The young man dropped his head and shifted his feet nervously, “You have a point, Moulana. Didn’t ever think of it like that. I don’t want to say…but you are right. I shouldn’t be polluting other people’s family if I don’t like my family to be polluted. This is all quite wrong isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s quite wrong,” without a hint of reprimand in his voice, “this is not our way.”

“But,” he asked, trying to conceal his embarrassment, “It’s not like we doing anything serious. I mean it’s only a gift. Not like we doing something physical…so it should be ok, no?”

Without disturbing his calmness, Sheikh Hamaad replied, “Do you like to go fishing?”

“Now you talking my language. Not a Sunday, not one, that we not by the dam,” he replied his hands waving with excitement, “We sit the whole day me and my buddies. First we prime the place with milie bombs. Just so the fish know we there. And they come, Moulana. They come for the bait. The whole lot, man….carpe, bass, barbell, you name it. But what’s that go to do with buying gifts.”

“When Shaytaan wants to trap someone,” Sheikh replied serenely, “he first puts some bait. Innocent stuff like gifts, the odd sms, just a hello and then when the time is right ….he will strike and how you say…you fall hook, line and sinker. Then he’s got you and it’s not long before he reels you in. So it starts with just a little bait. Just like the little gift that seems so innocent – it’s the bait.”

The young man beamed with this new found revelation and couldn’t wait to ask, “You are so right! And you have an amazing way of getting a point across Moulana, you didn’t just lecture me but you showed me how it is wrong. Thanks a mil. You must have learnt from a great teacher?”

“No doubt, I learnt from the best of all teachers,” Sheikh answered, “In fact, the best of all mankind…The Noblest Messenger of Allah- Rasulallah sallahu alaihi wa salam”

For more info on Valentine’s Day: http://muslimahsa.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/valentines-day/

Love her …when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.

Love her…when she “pushes” you to pray. She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love her…when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not “make” them on her own.

Love her...when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you

Love her…when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.

Love her…when her cooking is bad. She tries.

Love her…when she looks dishevelled in the morning. She always grooms herself up again.

Love her…when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants you to be part of the home.

Love her...when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she’s beautiful.

Love her…when she looks beautiful. She’s yours so appreciate her.

Love her...when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.

Love her…when she buys you gifts you don’t like. Smile and tell her it’s what you’ve always wanted.

Love her…when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.

Love her…when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don’t ask, tell her its going to be okay

Love her…when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and back and just chat to her (trust me this works!)

Love her…when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass

Love her…when she stains your clothes. You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway

Love her…when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.

Love her…when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both

Love her…she is yours. You don’t need any other special reason!!!!

All this forms part of a Woman’s Character. Women are part of your life and should be treated as the Queen.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the woman:

·         Treat the women well.

·         The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.

·         No one honours the woman except an honorable man. And no one humiliates her or holds her in contempt except one who is evil, vile, wicked and depraved.   

Don’t wait for that special occasion,take time now to make her feel Special in Every Way!

Love him …when he “forgets” that special occasion. For him moment with you is special so he does not need an occasion.

Love him …when he comes late from the Musjid. He wants to make sure he is early with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love him …when he admonishes you to don the hijaab. He wants to be sure you enshrouded by Allah’s Mercy when you leave the home.

Love him...when he is jealous. Out of all the women he could have, he chose you to be his wife!

Love him...when he is working till late. At least he comes home and you still get to sleep and wake up in his loving and caring arms.

Love him…when he has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too (and maybe more)

Love him…when does not praise your cooking. He told you as newlyweds that yours was indeed always the best.

Love him…when he looks dishevelled. He was more busy caring for the family than grooming himself. By the way he is cute!

Love him…when he does not help in the home. He is out earning a halaal (pure) income for the family.

Love him...when he does not reply to your questions. He does not want to hurt your feelings or is absorbed in thinking about your welfare.

Love him…when he looks beautiful. He’s yours to appreciate!

Love him…when he goes out in the Path of Allah. He is preparing a blissful eternal home for you in Jannah.

Love him...when he does not comment when you get angry. He is a good listener.

Love him…when he buys you gifts you don’t like. Smile and tell him it’s what you’ve always wanted. He took the time and money out just for you!

Love him…when he has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help him change.

Love him…when he is irritable and moody. Buy chocolates, massage his head and feet and just chat to him. He will become your slave!

Love him…when whatever you do is not pleasing. It’s like a storm; it happens and will soon pass by.

Love him…when he drives so fast. He only wants you to be there in time.

Love him…when he extends his period of rest. He is re-charging himself to serve you the best.

Love him…when he forgets to say “I love you”. He actually shows his love in many other ways.

Love him…when he forgets to buy the bread or milk. He was rushing home to be with you.

Love him…when he does not give you a chance to talk. He just knows what is in your heart and what it is you want to say.

Love him…when he “demands” respect. After all he is the head of the house.

Love him…when he shouts the kids. He only wants to ensure they are corrected and have a good moral upbringing.

Love him…he is yours. You don’t need any other special reason!!!!

All this forms part of a man’s character. Your Husband is part of your life and should be treated as the King!.

Almighty Allah Ta’ala says:

“ And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)…” (Qur’an 30:21) 

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

• ‘Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’”(Hadith-Ibn Majah) 
• “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.”(Hadith-Ahmad and al-Tabarani) 
• ·         “Pay attention to how you treat him(husband), for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”(Hadith-¹³ Ahmad and al-Nisa’i) 
• ·         “No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”(Hadith: Ahmad and al-Bazzar)

Don’t wait for that special occasion, take time NOW to make him feel Special in Every Way! Just give him a HUGE HUG and if he asks why then say: “ It’s just because you are so SPECIAL…”