By Shahnaaz Bemath
Beloved Reader! The selection of a life partner is indeed a serious matter that should not be taken lightly. The best selection will lead to a blessed marriage in which the rights of each are fulfilled and will ensure that the home will be managed properly. It has been seen that marriages are most successful when the rules and regulations laid down by Islam are faithfully obeyed and properly applied. Children born out of such a marriage turn out to be true believers and good Muslims. They have sound judgment and a high level of intelligence because in such marriages, Islamic knowledge and practice are an emphasis when it comes to the children. The Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) commanded those who intend to marry, to select a partner who is religious. A partner who has a correct and true understanding of Islam, and whose actions and conduct are in conformity with it’s teachings. Instead of setting a yardstick of beauty, prestige or wealth, Islam sets religion and piety as the criterion.
The Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “If somebody whose religion (Deen) and character are satisfactory comes to you (proposes marriage), marry your daughter to him…” (Tirmidhi Sharief)
The proposals of religious males are often rejected because selection is made on a worldly basis. Worldly standards of wealth, looks and social standing are mainly considered when a suitable match is sought. There is no harm in choosing a partner with any of these traits. However it should be borne in mind that in the absence of a good religious background and piety, worldly advantage have no worth.
A Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband.
A life partner must be from a devout, Islamically inclined family of good background since this will play an influential role in the couples future lives. Therefore, selection of a spouse must be one who has been brought up in pious and righteous surrounding. The Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “Marry into those of pious upbringing for what is bred in the bone is in the blood.” Nothing is worst for a religious woman of high Islamic values and standards, then to fall into wedlock of a free-thinking, irreligious husband, who is un concerned about religious duties and practices. The Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “Whoever marries his daughter to a sinner, has indeed cut off ties with her.” (Ibn Hibbaan).
In same way, nothing is worst for a religious minded male, then to choose a life partner who has a poor understanding of Islam and has little or no regard for it’s teaching. It is most improbable that a woman who lacks the basic Islamic knowledge and has no piety, become a good wife or mother to anyone. Men who marry for beauty, wealth or glamour often end up regretting. The Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “A woman is married for any one of four reasons: for her wealth, her status, her beauty and her piety. So try to marry one who is religious lest you regret.” (Tirmidhi Sharief)
A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond and establishing a stable life, it is essential to choose a partner with good akhlaaq (character) in the first place.
“Be a WOMAN of the DEEN so that you deserve to be his QUEEN”
“Be a MAN of IMAN so that you deserve to be her MAN”
O ALLAH! Bless us with spouses of piety and righteousness. And may YOU make every marriage to be that beautiful institution as ordained by YOU and taught by YOUR Beloved Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam), AAMEEN…